And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
