Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
True college students do jello shots in the library
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