you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
