I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
