She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
