she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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