why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
