I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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