he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Terrible idea I love it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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