all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
