He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
