Your favorite bartender is back from prision
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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