I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
