WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
