He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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