she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
