Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
