do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
