when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
