I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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