He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
