I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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