Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She announced her abortion via fbk
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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