what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This baby is an asshole
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
