I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
