his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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