I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
