i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
