she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
