just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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