i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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