I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
