i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
