Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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