whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she peed on how many people?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
