I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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