i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
