I have demons in me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
