KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
