She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
