I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
