Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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