i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
