Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
