one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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