so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize