This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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