Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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