U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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