can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
