I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sober January is a disaster.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
