the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do vagina's smell?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
