Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
