I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
