i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Randomize
