the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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