and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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